So you’re a plus one this holiday, now what?
- DRESS ACCORDINGLY AND WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES
Dress as if you actually care to be there. Participate in the theme of the party or dress code, it’s only right. I like to avoid future irritation by ensuring that my feet are comfortable even if that means packing another pair of shoes. You don’t want to be known as the person who sat in the corner all night. For any reason. PSA: LADIES PLEASE STOP WALKING AROUND BAREFOOT AT PARTIES, IN RESTROOMS, AND TO YOUR CAR BECAUSE YOUR HEELS WERE TOO HIGH OR SHOES UNCOMFORTABLE!! Suffer like everyone else and stay sanitary or wear different shoes.
2. BRING SOMETHING TO KEEP THE PARTY GOING
My friends are big on this one. Showing up to someone’s house with an offering in hand is a sign of a good house guest. As a guest, I think keeping your contribution under $30 but over $10 is a great idea. This can be a bulb for a Christmas tree, a bottle of wine or champagne, dessert, chocolate, even a 12 pack of coke!
3. YOUR IMPRESSION BEGINS AS SOON AS THE DOOR OPENS
Well actually, your impression begins at home while getting dressed. However, when that door opens-it’s show time. You walk through the door and it seems as if everyone is staring at the new arrival. Meeting the host of the party to express your gratitude should be a priority if you are at a family or close friends affair. Then, bar. I prefer to work the room with a drink in hand.
4. MIND YOUR P’s & Q’s (2 drink minimum)
The music maybe flowing and the mood maybe just right but you my dear, are a guest. Someone is still watching somewhere. Mind those pints and quarts by keeping yourself at a 2 drink minimum to avoid any accidents, mistakes or slip ups. If you have gone to a corporate party or prestige special event (where the table cloths are white and the hor d’oeuvres are passed around) you probably will understand my following breakdown:
When a venue is rented out for an event, the food and drinks are sold in packages. Drink packages are usually offered in 3 categories-coffee bar, beer & wine, liquor. The most common drink package for an event with a full buffet is a 2 drink minimum liquor package. Trust me, aside from the cost, the host has passed every guest 2 complimentary drink tickets for a reason. Now, in all honesty, this one I have trouble with and must exercise control as I enjoy a good cocktail and have a high tolerance. If you’re anything like me, in social settings you’d prefer the comfort of holding a drink as mention previously. Since this is the case, I’ll start with a hard liquor cocktail while gauging the crowd and my ability to represent in a favorable manner. The plan is to hold onto the second drink. My second drink maybe a craft cocktail with very light ice or a full bodied red wine. At one party I choose gin for both drinks and needless to say…well, it doesn’t need to be said lol.
5. THE NAME GAME
So now you’re being taken around to meet every single person or at least it seems that way. Trying to remember everyone’s names and repeating yours can be tiresome. I tend to take note to those with introductions like, “This is who I’ve been talking about”, or “Remember the story I told you when…”. Yeah, those people. Even if you’re not taken around, being prepared ensures that you will not be taken off your mark and in control of the impression you leave. Never, ever call anyone by a name that you aren’t sure of. Just don’t.
6. YOU MAY BE ON TRIAL BUT IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU (Be the supporting character)
Imagine that everyone you will meet that day have already heard so much about you and will say so upon shaking hands or reaching in for a hug. Depending on the nature of your holiday visit and the relation to the person you’re with, this is the moment you’re on trial. So you might as well welcome the hot seat as they all have a few questions that somehow hadn’t been answered in that “so much”of you that they have already heard. Prepare for the speed round as if several cameras are on you and it’s repetition. “How do you earn a living”, “So (insert person who brought you) tells me that you’re in the medical field”, “Do you have a mother? What’s your father’s name? Did your grandfather fight in the war?”
I cringe at all of these questions which is probably why I am never the one asking. I personally don’t care and nor everyone wants to share too many life details with strangers. What am I going to do with that information, judge you? Follow up with a couple more questions that digs deeper into your life? I think a better icebreaker would be-“what smart shoes you have on, the DJ is really doing her thing tonight, omg you have to try these potatoes they are amazing”. Talk about what’s in front of you. One sided interrogations makes people feel uncomfortable. If you see them again, maybe then you can dig deeper into their lives but not everyone wants to go to a party and talk about work, love it or not. P.S. Don’t stand up in front of your hosts friends and family to show out. The nerve of you.
7. KEEP IT SMOOTH, KEEP IT CLASSY
You were invited for a reason, don’t let them down. There are aspects of your character and personality that got you the invite-let those shine. The parts of your character that comes crawling out after alcohol or in any informal setting-pull those back. It is no secret to those who know me personally that my vocabulary consists of every “curse word” invented, even those predated before me. Just because I personally view them as expressions instead of curses, doesn’t mean I should disregard the masses when stepping into someone else’s environment. Hold yourself well, mind others, and respect everyone around you.
8. READ THE ROOM
We are all human here and stopping to read the room is a direct projection of what everyone else sees while you’re busy enjoying your holiday. If you had too much to drink, someone’s eyes will let you know. During a conversation, as a guest, try to keep your voluntary commentary to a minimum, unless brought into the conversation. Everyone else around you are in a community while you’re the new kid on the block for one night. If your opinion isn’t favored, stop talking ASAP. Remember this isn’t about you and no one wants to not get invited back because they started a debate. Most of all, no one wants to be the guy or girl who brought such behavior around. PSA: THE MOMENT SOMEONE MENTIONS THE NAME TRUMP, GET UP FROM THE TABLE, WIPE YOUR MOUTH AND GO TO THE BATHROOM. REFRAIN.
9. MANNERS-USE THEM & SHOW SOME RESPECT
Pic By: Haut Risque
If something is offered and it’s not outrageous to waste (if it somehow repulses you after trying), take it and try even if you don’t want it. Some cultures see it rude to reject simple things such as a glass of water or slice of cake. On the flip side, said culture open up more easily towards you if you do oblige. Phrases such as, “Thank you”, “Please” and “May I”, can go a very long way and leaves a great impression as it shows that you have enough sense to at least fake as if you’ve been raised right, for the hours that you are with them. Some people get sloppy while having fun and are very accident prone. If you knock something over or spill, it’s common courtesy to apologize. In good faith, make sure to apologize to the right person after apologizing to the room. P.S. if someone tells a joke that’s not funny, be a good sport and laugh anyway or at least crack a smile and nod.
10. KNOW HOW TO USE WHAT’S IN FRONT OF YOU
This one is easy to fake as many have gone out to eat at a restaurant and was unknowingly guided through the table setting. Appetizers come to the table first which normally consists of soup, salad, finger food or a shareable plate. These dishes call for you to use the flatware positioned on the outside (furthest away) of the plate’s setting. Apps are followed by the entries in which calls for flatware on the inside of the setting (closer to the plate). If there is cloth napkin provided then it’s only right to drape it across your lap as it’s purposes to help you stay clean rather than clean you up.
Getting an invitation to spend a holiday with friends and someone else’s family can be both exciting and nerve racking. Keeping the 10 tips in mind will give you the confidence to roll with the punches after your initial greeting. Remember, get out of your head, off your phone and appreciate what’s in front of you.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!
Got any disaster stories after attending holiday as a guest? Comment below or email questions, comments and stories to TheFrugalSnobClub@gmail.com we’d love to hear from you!